Sunday, July 30, 2017

New Lipstick Made Me Happier

Sometimes, happiness is as simple as this. Lipstick.

And if you find this statement bimbotic, here's your cue to stop reading, because yes, you got it - today, I'm dedicating an entire blog post to lipstick, and I have this nasty ailment called the First World Problem Disease. Admittance is the first step to recovery, they say. But I've no intention of recovering because I love a good lippie and that's that.

But the rest of you... Girls, boys, or whoever wears lipstick. Have you ever had that feeling, when things in life are not going so good, and you just gotta have a little perk-me-up? Well that's what I did.

We all have our weaknesses. Some people love gadgets, some like watches, others, spa indulgences, and so much more. For myself, I've always had a thing for makeup, even though I don't wear much these days. Oh, the hours I've spent in Sephora (most of the time just gazing longingly at makeup that I love but can't find the heart to spend on)...

Ok back to Earth.

I actually haven't had a proper tube of lipstick for months - something which I have no excuse for, except for the fact that my very last tube expired a while ago. And I put off buying a new one for an immeasurable amount of time because... I actually have no reason! So last Friday, after an event, I saw a sale at Watsons and somehow went in, even though I've kinda barred myself from entering shops UNLESS necessary, in my bid to save money. And as (almost always) there was a sale. 25% off most makeup products, to be exact. So I bought one.

So... I officially have ONE tube of lipstick. Hahaha. And in case you didn't know... Last year... and the years before last year... I was the kind who would have at least 10 tubes. And waste most of them when they expired, because...  1 pair of lips vs. 10+ tubes of lipsticks: you do the math.

It may seem silly to you, a 20+ year old woman getting excited over something as small as this. But well.. It's hard to explain. How the colour is a shade I fancy, how it brightens my face which somehow brightens my mood to, and ....

And there you go, congrats on reading about my obsession for lipstick. Of course, besides this obsession, I'm currently embarking on new obsessive journeys, such as photography, videography, and reading a lot more to expand my horizons. I also hope to start a new website, which has been a bit of a standstill the last few months, but let's see what I can do about that.


Butthurt People on Social Media

So.. It's 2 pm now - and I'm writing from my room, in the sizzling afternoon heat of the good ol' Singapore weather. Which doesn't always have a positive effect on my mood, because really... who loves the heat?

Anyway, an encounter last Friday gave me inspiration to return here. To my blog, I mean.While I'm not sure how long it'll last, I'm gonna give my best in creating personal content that I'm proud of!

The thing is, nothing much is happening in my life. It's just you know... work..  home... the occasional dinner with friends... hardly the Instagrammer kinda life that's so popular these days. But hey, there are so many things to talk about actually. Little things that may be trivial, but nevertheless, noticed by me.

Like how there isn't a post-meal tray-return policy at the Jollibee in my office building, but I've only ever seen clear tables. For the benefit of those who aren't aware of the tray return concept, here in Singapore, especially at our fast-food outlets, we are encouraged to clear our tables and return our trays after our meal. This allows the next customer to get seat and start eating faster. It makes life easier for outlet staff too, especially during peak hours.

Or like how I bought a tube of lipstick last Friday night, and it brought some colour to my life (both literally and not). And if you'll give me a chance to explain (in one of my next posts - if I ever get around writing it!), you'll realise the idea isn't as frivolous as you think!

Or how waiting for the bus can be excruciating, when you're having a not-so-ideal week. Which, could also be an opening a new topic. See, there's no excuse for having "nothing to write", because the human mine is active pretty much every hour of the day - and yes, for me, even during slumber. Especially before my sleep actually. That's when all my ideas come, but I never have the energy or willpower to get out of bed to pen my thoughts!

B suggested that I use the voice record function. But ha.... I actually have tried that - with ridiculously incoherent results hahaha.

Sometimes I avoid blogging because... There're always repercussions of sharing your life, thoughts and opinions. Especially in the era of social media (which of course, comes with it's perks) where people find it increasingly easy to get butthurt  offended at the tiniest things. I don't even want to think of examples - but just look at comments the Facebook posts on any major news outlet and you'll know ;)

When people are offended, they go all out to get your blood. They call it "CSI" - publish your personal details, residential address, try to get you dismissed from your job etc. And most of the time, I've realised, people only look at one side of the story. And when the herd mentality comes... ha.....

Funny thing is, these people are usually the ones who love to complain that there's no freedom of speech in Singapore. But have they ever thought that they too, are not enabling freedom of speech, when they go bonkers over the tiniest matters?

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Hello! Need Some Direction In Life.

Recently, I've been feeling like my life is in a mess. Which is actually quite a silly thing to say, because people around me (not people I know personally) are fighting worse monsters in their lives. Which sometimes makes me feel like I have no right to be upset over things that are happening in my life.

I try to be positive, yes. It's not too difficult, but it's not easy as well.

I have this ongoing thing in my life.  It's going in... I'm not sure if it's even moving. But long story short, there is something I really, really want. And everything seems impossible. I don't know where to start to make it right. Or if it's even possible in the first place. It's quite painful sometimes, how I managed to get myself (and someone else) into this situation. The most painful part about all this is that someone else got implicated in this. I mean, I can take the shit, but the thought that someone else (one of the best people in the world) got involved, that's the most painful part.

It doesn't help that on certain days, I get texts from two people (yes two) along the lines of...

"I just missed my bus. Today is going to be a bad day."

AH.. I really hope to have a weight lifted off my chest ahhhhhh.
I can soooo imagine a life with B - but why is it so difficult. :(

Well, at least I don't have any writer's block like I did a few weeks ago!

That said... I know I'm better off than a lot of people already. I was looking at the GiveAsia site... and things have been happening to my co-workers and their families. Some people don't have the luxury of time and health to make things right/better. But I do. That's something to be thankful for. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Perfume

I've always had a thing (but no excess moolah) for perfume. Tried Gucci Flora out at a shop and now I can't stop sniffing myself hahaha. And they really should sell smaller and cheaper bottles because I always get bored of the scents halfway through! Not that I've owned many in my life ha. Mmmmmmmm can I save this smell somehow.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Subjectivity

I wish I have the power to read minds. Like seriously. Also, I really wish I can go back to studying for a while. Or forever. But money doesn't grow on trees. Don't know what to do with life.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Do you believe in prayers?

I've never been a particularly sappy person, but things have changed recently. Neither have I been particularly religious but well.. I can't explain either.

Anyway (and yes, I can't believe I'm saying this because this is SO not me), a few minutes ago I was sending a desperate plea to heaven about something that was really, really close to my heart. I've never wanted so much for one person before (because I was always a selfish spoilt brat haha). It took almost 30 years for someone to make me want to change this trait.

I've been feeling really powerless these days. And I also hate myself for not being to achieve some things (not work-related)...

Anyway, I was praying (it feels really weird to be saying this) just now. And this song was played on radio the next minute. It's a motherly love song sung by Tarzan's gorilla adoptive mother, but I can see it from another angle - not the death one, but something that I've been going through for almost two years.



Coincidence, maybe? Or not...

ARGHHHHHHH.

Why can't they understand?

I wish everything can be solved magically. We've been through enough, really.



Saturday, March 18, 2017

Time does not heal all wounds.

It's been a year of ups and downs. Mostly up, but there's one "down" that I feel like I will never forget or forgive myself for. I still feel like zombie sometimes -- like all my drive and motivation has been sucked out and everything just... Vanished.

And I feel like I can't get out of it. I've always bounced bad from adversities rather easily, but this time, I feel like I'll never be OK. And as much as I want to change, I simply don't have the faith anymore. Plus other factors are controlling me. It's so overwhelming sometimes and nobody understands. And my household is so controlling that my cousin is the only person in the world who understands it and understands how I feel - because she's seen it happen.

It's so sad sometimes. Well just one time. I've always accepted that my life was like that... Until B. And then I only wanted one thing in my life. Other things, people could stop me, imprison me and I'd be fine (ren ming haha). But this one... I've never felt such a strong connection to anyone at at... And it's just ruined. That's not even the worst thing that's happened. The worst thing that happened is hurting and disappointing someone else. Someone who has always been sweet, supportive and encouraging. Someone who wants the best got me despite not having much himself. And he didn't even do anything wrong....

And I can't return anything because idk....  Maybe because I'm just useless. Cowardly.

And the people closest to me just know how to control me.

I want my own life. I want my own home. I want to live life to the fullest, in my own definition. But how? Nobody (except my cousin) understands the environment I live in.

You know, to many people in the world,  I live a priviledged life. And I may seem like such an awful person for not appreciating what I have. But to me, they're privileged as well. They don't live in a clockwork bubble. They're free.

Gargghhhh really need to pull myself together. That's the only way to go up.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Being Good / Not Good Enough

Working as a writer (it's the same for every job, I guess) has its rewarding moments. However, it can get really discouraging sometimes too. I put in a lot of effort in everything I do, so it's a wonderful feeling when I receive positive feedback like "OMG I LOVE IT". But sometimes... I just can't get something that everyone loves, and it can really put a damper on my day.

Then again (uplifting in a way), I know I'm not alone. I've seen the most brilliant writers and YouTubers going through the same thing too — for example, this YouTuber once mentioned that he spent hours cycling for a video... And the client ended up not approving that video! But he didn't let it stop him from continuing to come up with more content.

Can't win em' all (no human can, not even someone as perfect as Emma Watson), but I wish I could! Must. Be. Positive.

And here's my inspiration playlist of the week.